ARAFAT
AND THE
PRIME
MINISTER
AT THE
NEGOTIATING
TABLE
Arafat
and the
Israel
Prime
Minister
finally
agree to
sit down
and
resolve
the
issue of
who is
the
legitimate
owner of
the
disputed
lands.
The
Prime
Minister
asks if
he may
start
with a
speech.
Arafat
agrees.
"Well,"
says the
Prime
Minister,
"before
the
Israelites
settled
in the
Promise
Land,
Moses
took
them
through
the
desert
for 40
years.
The
Israelites
began
complaining
that
they
were
thirsty
and low
and
behold,
a
miracle
occurred
and a
stream
appeared
before
them.
They
drank
and
decided
to take
a
refreshing
bath,
including
Moses.
When he
came out
of the
water he
discovered
that all
of his
clothes
were
missing."
"Who
took my
clothes?"
Moses
asked.
"It
was the
Palestinians,
"
replied
the Israelites.
Arafat
interrupts
saying,
"Wait
a
minute.
There
were no
Palestinians
dwelling
here at
the time
of
Moses!"
"All
right,"
replies
the
Prime
Minister,
"now
that we
have
that
settled,
let's
begin
our
negotiations."
YOU
KNOW YOU
ARE LIVING
IN 2003
WHEN:
1. Your
reason for
not
staying in
touch with
family is
because
they do
not have
e-mail.
2. You
have a
list of 15
phone
numbers to
reach your
family of
three.
3. Your
grandmother
asks you
to send
her a JPEG
file of
your
newborn so
she can
create a
screen
saver.
4. You
pull up in
your own
driveway
and use
your cell
phone to
see if
anyone is
home.
5. Every
commercial
on
television
has a web
site
address at
the bottom
of the
screen.
6. You buy
a computer
and 3
months
later it's
out of
date and
sells for
half the
price you
paid.
7. Leaving
the house
without
your cell
phone,
which you
didn't
have the
first 20
or 30 (or
60) years
of your
life, is
now a
cause for
panic and
you turn
around to
go get it.
8. Using
real
money,
instead of
credit or
debit, to
make a
purchase
would be a
hassle and
take
planning.
9. You
just tried
to enter
your
password
on the
microwave.
10. You
consider
second-day
air
delivery
painfully
slow.
11. Your
dining
room table
is now
your flat
filing
cabinet.
12. Your
idea of
being
organized
is
multiple-colored
Post-it
notes.
13. You
hear most
of your
jokes via
e-mail
instead of
in person.
14. You
get an
extra
phone line
so you can
get phone
calls.
15. You
disconnect
from the
Internet
and get
this awful
feeling,
as if you
just
pulled the
plug on a
loved one.
16. You
get up in
the
morning
and go
online
before
getting
your
coffee.
17. You
wake up at
2 AM to go
to the
bathroom
and check
your
E-mail on
your way
back to
bed.
18. You
start
tilting
your head
sideways
to smile.
:)
19. You're
reading
this and
nodding
and
laughing.
20. Even
worse; you
know
exactly
who you
are going
to forward
this to...