It strikes like lightning. The psychic winds howl. Here I am in the middle of it all. My head tilts toward the sky and I wonder, what am I supposed to learn from all this? Did the natives have this feeling when their personal world went berserk? So, good student that I am, I decide to explore the laws of confusion, and see if there are any straight lines through. So far, I can only report, all lines are curved. To get from here to there, you have to bend like a rainbow, and reflect all the colors under the sun.

We had this great series planned, Truth and Harmony, and every time I sent it out into the universe, all I heard was "practical application." My principles felt so lofty, which is my tendency sometimes. This process needed to be grounded in a deeper way. No one had time to listen because they were all too busy putting out fires in their own world. First law of order, get grounded. So I decided to simplify and relate to you in practical terms. Together we can focus on ways to be grounded and align with the great forces that are now coming in.

Simplify and set Priorities

We live in the best and worst of times, exalted and exaggerated. Everything is being revealed. We are becoming more aware of the motives behind all our actions, good and bad. We see the underbelly and the divine, if we are willing to look. The universe is asking us to become aware of our consciousness and learn how to stay balanced and not get caught in the web of negative reactions to the obstacles placed before us. We are all walking the tightrope of light and dark, and must learn to keep our center.

Given the opportunity to experience our dreams unfold, we feel the potential. We can see it, taste our new world, and are being prepared to move into new dimensions of awareness. In this process, we are shown the weak links in our personality, brought to the most vulnerable aspects of our self where we can break. We are only as strong as our weakest link and have to face our limitations. This allows us to build a true foundation of happiness and creative expression, giving clarity to what our specific work is in the greater plan.

Many of us are straddling the old world of the ego and the new world of the heart. Our body knows the difference and complains loudly when our personality misses the point of our spiritual focus. This division of worlds is creating much confusion. We are being given the energy and the tools to move very quickly if we choose to. Angelic forces are on every corner ready to help, if we remember to ask for assistance. We are never alone and it is impossible to go to these higher planes through the ego. Next law of order, release old identities, the "I was and I tried" to spirit, as quickly as possible and feel the support from your higher vision. You must be supported. This journey becomes hard only when you are in resistance. Come back to your spiritual priorities and stay grounded in the step you are in.

Our opinion is that the confusion and overload most of us are experiencing is being caused by the interface of the old and new worlds, as we are moving to a new level of consciousness. It is like moving into a new house. We have moved all the precious furniture. Now there is the issue of the old stuff that does not fit into the new world. We are clearing the closets, the basement, breaking old attachments to the broken and the beholden. It is very difficult to maintain both houses. It is time to let go and move into the new space. If we don't release the old world, we will be drawn back again and again to the old space of being, asked to clean up our act. The old karma has to be handled or it hangs around.

Interfacing the old and new world

I have been conditioned in Western thought to hold my personality in the lead, like a horse, with spirit as the wagon. I controlled, bargained, bragged, and condemned from my personality. This provided a very limited road to travel on. When I held security as my first priority, the road became more narrow. My images of God projected this same story in reverse. Now God condemned and controlled me. My illusions promoted suffering as an essential path of growth. I proclaimed that God was good on Sunday, but on Monday, god was mad at me, in fact everyone was mad at me, because I could never meet my expectations of what I was supposed to be. I felt if I could only work long and hard enough, I would be able to please and then be redeemed. I wanted to be the good little girl that everyone loved. This complex ran my life.

There I was, feeling small, working to be the savior for all who suffer, feeling responsible but not experiencing any power. Then I would become incredibly resentful, angry for compromising myself, and would move to the other side, the dictator, controlling and righteous. Striving for power, even spiritual power, for the wrong reasons created chaos and disharmony. I had no satisfaction, just much hard work, and all I really wanted to do was hide. When I was joined in my spirit, I could feel the miracle of life all around me, but in my separation, deep under the covers, something was missing. I was afraid to show this side of myself to the light. Why should I? In my projection, God was only mad at me anyway because I had failed to save the world.

This position created a great deal of sickness, and neurotic acting out on my part. As I began to see through my movies of strife and prideful revenge, both sides revealed how they fed off each other. I discovered the passive and active aspect, the victim and the aggressor and by not endorsing either side, the complex began to neutralize and dissolve. Each time it surface, I could see it move vividly.

This old image of Nancy and the world it created held me in bondage. Victim aggressor patterns do not fit through the door of the divine, so until I let them go, I was left in the waiting room of my life, unwilling to undress myself and come back to my innocence. I had to neutralize my pride, anger, and fear and move from these places in my consciousness. It was time to find my heart, tell the truth, and experience a new dynamic relationship with my spirit.

It is clear now that my personality is definitely the wagon, pulled along by my Spirit. I can load up my wagon with infinite number of things and details, all before the cosmic day is done. The more the wagon is loaded, the slower I move. When the wagon is free, I have no obligations, and can carry the loads of others as I choose, or find a new use for my wagon in service of the divine.

In these last months, I have untangled the web between my ideals and my deeper reality. I have asked for joy in the deepest level of my being. It dawned on me that I treated spiritual laws like a mathematical equation, always explaining to the mind how things work. I have been standing before the black board of scribbles, and holding this as the universe, rather than a model. I had to move beyond the mental framework of self, step out of my own way, and open the door to the real world, beyond my principles of how life should be into the reality of how it really is.

Make decisions that support your vision and move on them. It is the energy and clear intentions that count. Don't worry so much about making a mistake. Release hesitation, and move forward in a proactive style. Watch the results of your decisions and correct as you go along. Pay attention to what is coming back to you, and make adjustments as needed, restating your focus, until the energy runs pure. Listen to your heart, for it will be clear when you are on track and the next step will be obvious. Even when the step is small, it brings you to the place to see the bigger vision. Once you are on purpose, the confusion and spinning is released and you are back on center.

Tell the truth about your motive. Know where you are coming from and be aware when you are acting out. The difference between anger and love is very clear. Becoming conscious of your actions is the first step. When you tell the deeper truth about what you need and what your motivation is, your goals become clearer. This is not a right and wrong, good and bad. There are no value judgements, just the obvious observation of the cause of your actions. Negative reactions come from unexpressed needs for love. As you are willing to be totally honest, your wounded ego can heal rapidly.

Encouraged by your spirit to mature, with courage and clarity, you let go of the child conditions that create neurosis, and come to a new way of being with yourself. You are always given a clear choice as to the world you want to experience. Everything is speeding up. You have felt this for awhile, and it's now reaching light speed. Now when you say you want something, you are asked to take responsibility for it. So much for blabbing and feeling sorry for yourself. The universe is moving beyond the child model of manifesting, and you are learning the energetic price to pay for all that you receive. If you have been complaining about your world, and thinking that is has to be different, get really clear about what is needed. The universe will move you forward, showing your exactly where you are attached, and what keeps the old world in place. Your evolutionary process will gladly offer you the vision, and the energy to make your new world possible. Victim-aggressor is taking its last breath for those who are really serious on their spiritual path.

Stay connected to your highest thought. Make a prayer every day to be connected to your higher self. Ask to serve the highest of the high and be supported through the power of love. Ask for protection and guidance.

Do reality checks, and find the differences between your ideals and the reality that shows itself to you. Stop pretending and really see what you are seeing, hear what you are hearing and tell the truth as simply and compassionately as possible.

You may contact Nancy by E-mail at nsrubin@aloha.net

Home/Index / Soul Awakenings